I’ve been thinking a lot about control lately.

Not in some grand, philosophical way but more in the “why did I just spend 20 minutes researching the optimal way to load a dishwasher” kind of way (and yes, I really did that without catching myself).

During my reflections I’ve noticed something about many founders – they’re often truly obsessed with knowing everything. They want answers. They want certainty. They want to feel like they’ve really got their arms around their business.

And I do get it. Because I’m often exactly the same in my work and much of my life away from work too.

But there’s an uncomfortable common truth that lies beneath the surface.

That need for control often comes from a place of fear.

Maybe it’s fear of being caught out or fear of losing control of something we’ve poured our lives into as founders. We’ve all got our own fears going on.

I heard a brilliant line on a podcast on my drive back from the French Alps last week: “People who think they know everything are really annoying to those of us who actually do.”

I can’t remember which podcast now it was but it made me laugh. And then it made me cringe a bit.

When you’re scaling a business the number of things you don’t know grows pretty quickly (new markets, new team dynamics, new tech, things that used to work don’t work anymore etc).

It’s overwhelming if you try to master all of it.

And yet we try. We stay up late reading, attend too many webinars, create frameworks and processes and hire people like me in the hope we know.

All this in service of the illusion that if we just know enough, it’ll all be ok.

But what if we didn’t have to know everything?

What if being comfortable with not knowing was actually a competitive advantage?

I’ve been working with a founder recently who’s noticeably managed to make this shift. They can pivot much more quickly because they’re no longer attached to being right. They’re building a stronger team because they’re genuinely curious about what others know. And they’re sleeping better too now.

Which all got me thinking about what it really means to embrace uncertainty.

Let go of the wheel (at least occasionally)

This sounds a bit woo-woo I know. But there’s something profound about accepting you don’t have to orchestrate every outcome.

When you stop trying to be on top of every decision, you create space for better solutions to emerge.

I’m not suggesting you become unnecessarily passive. I’m suggesting you become selective about where you apply your need for control.

Trying to control everything means you’re controlling nothing effectively.

Stop pretending you know stuff you don’t

This is the big one. We think we need all the answers because that’s what leadership looks like.

No. Just no.

The strongest leaders I work with can say “I don’t know but I know we can figure it out” or “That’s not my area so who can we talk to?”

They’ve realised that pretending to know things is exhausting and gets in the way of real learning.

And it’s terrible for culture too. When you pretend to know everything, your team think you’re the only person who can solve problems. It encourages founder dependency. They stop thinking for themselves as much as they could.

Actively seek out your knowledge gaps

Deliberately putting yourself in situations where you’re the least knowledgeable person in the room is incredibly valuable.

Take on that project you don’t understand. Hire that person who’s smarter than you. Enter that room where you’ll be you a novice.

Real growth happens not in the comfortable territory of what you already know, but in the messy space of what you’re figuring out.

Founders who scale successfully have developed a comfortable relationship with uncertainty.

They’re still rigorous and thoughtful. But they’re not paralysed by gaps in their knowledge.

They’ve learned to distinguish between things they need to know deeply and things they need to trust others to know. They’ve built teams precisely because they can’t and shouldn’t know everything.

And they’ve stopped using “knowing everything” as a proxy for being in control.

They’ve become comfortable with not knowing.

So here’s what I’m wondering – what would change if you stopped trying to know everything? What decisions might you make differently? What conversations might you have? What help might you ask for?

What if not knowing wasn’t a weakness to hide but a doorway you could walk through today?

best regards,
sw

From the Build archive

Build #82 –
The founder’s paradox: letting go without losing (too much) control

Examining the experiences of two founders with contrasting approaches to letting go.

> Read the article

Build #13 –
Deciding on deciding

Letting go of decision making is key to reducing founder dependency yet it continues to amaze me how little attention is paid to how decisions are actually made.

> Read the article